Why Does My Heart Ache?
by mirror-cannibal
Summary: Jack and Ralph's arguments stand out on more than one occasion, but what's the real reason for their behavior towards each other? Are there strange emotions for each other within them that they themselves don't fully understand? (Based off the book cuz I haven't seen any of the movies) *Seme* Jack x *Uke* Ralph, obvi :) (rating cuz probably smut down the road so yay for that)


The voices rose louder and louder on the beach, as the sun beat down mercilessly from the clear blue sky.

"—the fire, the fire, all you care about is—"

"—we have no chance—"

"—the conch, the conch, who's got the conch?"

"—hunting, it's all hunting with you—"

"—the rules! The rules!"

Finally one voice rose above the clamor. "To hell with the rules!" The group of boys instinctively quieted down, glancing up at the one who spoke out. Jack stood, glaring challengingly around. "To hell with the rules!" he repeated, his voice slightly quieter now that he had everyone's attention.

Ralph rose to the challenge in Jack's eyes. "The rules are all we've got!" he stepped forward, obeying that natural instinct to snap back. "I'm chief, and I say we keep the rules! Piggy's got the conch, so let him—"

"Oh, you always take Piggy's side!" Jack's voice was harsh, edged with deep emotions he himself couldn't explain. The venom in his words surprised Ralph, and he was silent for a minute, his brain attempting to formulate a response.

"I-" Piggy stuttered, trying to break the silence, "I think we should listen to Ralph, 'cause—"

"Oh, shut up!" Jack snapped at him, turning away. "This is all pointless anyway. We all know what's more important—and that's food. So I'm going hunting. Alone. To hell with this assembly."

Ralph watched him go with narrowed eyes, debating whether or not he should call out. He eventually decided to stay silent, watching the other boy's figure being enveloped in the heat waves rising off the sand.

"'Kay," Ralph turned back to the group. "Remember what we talked about. Everyone has to follow the rules we lay out; that's the only way we'll ever be rescued." He took the conch from Piggy and laid it down, signaling that the assembly was over. The group separated, milling about the beach and wandering up to the forest.

Ralph started walking across the sand, feeling the coarseness against his feet. "Where are you going?" Piggy asked, following him for a few steps.

"To talk to Jack," Ralph answered, eyes still ahead. "He has to understand that the chief's word is law. Besides, it's not like he'll actually catch anything hunting alone."

"Yeah, you're right," Piggy panted as Ralph sped up. "He's probably just sulking from the argument, y'know?"

"Piggy, stay here," Ralph said tiredly, moving faster across the sand. "I'm talking to him alone." He didn't say anything about the real reason he didn't want Piggy coming along, which was because of Jack's earlier comment. _You always take Piggy's side!_ The words were so edged, so harsh, they had shocked Ralph into silence. _Does Jack really hate Piggy that much?_ Ralph mused, glancing back at the shorter boy, who slowed to a stop.

"Ok…" Piggy whined, the hurt obvious on his face. Ralph turned back around and kept walking, only one goal in his mind: _to find Jack_.

* * *

The forest was slightly cooler than the beach, with more shade to block the sun's harsh rays, but sweat still shone on Ralph's skin. He had no idea where to start looking for Jack—the forest was huge, after all, and there was no particular place he knew that Jack liked to go—but he walked around anyway, hoping to come across him by luck. He realized this maybe wasn't the most efficient way of searching for someone after some time had passed and he hadn't found a trace of the other boy.

Ralph sat down, leaning against a tree. "Ugh," he moaned, wiping an arm across his brow, pushing the hair out of his face. The afternoon was too hot, the goal was too impossible, and he was too exhausted to keep going.

And so, despite all the looming terrors of the responsibility before him, Ralph closed his eyes and slept.

* * *

Jack walked through the forest angrily, stomping his feet on sticks to hear the satisfying _crack_ each time they snapped. "Damn that empty-headed Ralph!" he muttered, "Can't he see what's really important here? Rescue isn't coming anytime soon—we need food! We need to hunt! But then all he's worried about is the fire, and the rules, and—"

Jack suddenly stopped, seeing the chief himself in front of him, leaning against a tree, fast asleep. "What is he—?" The redhead slowly approached the other boy, watching him suspiciously.

There was a strange flutter in Jack's chest when he laid his eyes on the sleeping boy. The slight flutter of his heart had been going on for a while now whenever he saw Ralph, but it was usually more subtle. This time, seeing the other boy's sleeping face—all the anger and tension gone from his features—it was like he was meeting him for the first time again.

Suddenly Jack wished for those first days back, when they were exploring the island together. He pictured Ralph, smiling, too ecstatic for words to the point where all he could do was stand on his head.

 _Why does my heart ache?_ Jack stepped closer to Ralph, kneeling down, studying his face. _Why does my heart ache? What's he doing to me?_

Jack leaned back again, and as his shadow moved the sun shone down on Ralph's closed eyes, which began to open hesitantly as he slowly woke up. "J-Jack?" he mumbled, eyes blearily open but still half-asleep. "I was…looking for you."

 _Ba-bum. Ba-bum._ Jack's heart was beating faster, pounding against his ribcage, and he couldn't understand why. _Ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum._ Ralph stirred, trying to sit up, but Jack was too close. "You're in the way," Ralph's words were slurred together from his still-sleepy state. "Move, Jack."

"Wait," Ralph's voice seemed more awake now. "What are you—" Yes, very much awake.

 _Are his eyes getting bigger?_ Jack wondered, then his heart stopped as he realized what was happening. _When did I start leaning in?_ That thought and all others disappeared from his mind as soon as his lips touched Ralph's.

* * *

 _Am I dreaming? What the hell kind of dream is this?_ Ralph's mind was a tornado, his breath swept away by the feeling of Jack on his lips, on his body, way too close. He jerked his head back in surprise, separating from Jack and knocking his head against the tree. "Ow!" he gritted his teeth. "Jack, what the—"

When he looked back at Jack, he noticed the redness on the other boy's cheeks. Despite that, however, his clear blue eyes were determinedly set on Ralph. "I don't know," Jack whispered, then leaned in again. The confusion was still running through Ralph's head; but he didn't fight it this time, instead leaning into the kiss. _What am I doing? What is_ he _doing? Why is this happening?_

By the time they separated, both boys were panting for breath. "Ralph," Jack breathed heavily, and Ralph felt a hand on his shoulder. "I-I'm sorry, for the argument earlier, I should've—"

"It—it's fine," Ralph panted, sliding his eyes away from Jack's face, still not fully understanding what was happening between them. "We both overreacted." Jack was silent, and Ralph tentatively looked back at him to see the redhead's blush deepen.

"Ralph?" Jack's voice was a whisper.

"Yeah?" Ralph swallowed, his mouth dry for some reason. _Why is my heart racing?_

"Is this ok…?" Jack moved his hand from Ralph's shoulder to his collarbone. When Ralph didn't say anything, Jack hesitantly slid his fingers to hover over the other boy's chest. "Your heart…" he whispered. "It's pounding, too."

"Yeah," Ralph's voice was hoarse, his throat dry and his body refusing to move. _Why can't I move?_ "It's your fault," he whispered, his voice gone.

"My fault?" Jack glanced into Ralph's eyes, and in Jack's Ralph saw a mirror of confusion and a mixture of unknown emotions in their depths.

"Jack," It took so much effort to form the one word, and Ralph's mind was scrambled. It was all he could do to get out the next five words, which made no sense to him after hearing them with his own ears. "Why does my heart ache?"

* * *

 **Will definitely be continued, don't worry...Also will probably change the title after continuing, I couldn't think of a good one atm**

 **Review for what you want next! More of an angst-y thing or more of a smut? Also thanks for reading :)**


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